Date night

Parallel to your gaze
Between candle fire and my shadow
In full view of your emphasized persona
I'm present as a neutral pawn

Profiling your hungry intentions...
Leaking answers with dripping desire
Arising tempting challenges
Addressing the dark beats of vibrations within me

Handing over yourself:
Reading
I find the keys
Questions,
Reeling you in
Sport fishing indirectly proportioned to your irrelevant answers

If you knew me:
You'd know age is nothing but existence
Taunt me and unleash an estrangement...estrangement? Too sweet a word.
Taunt me and prepare for blazing seats with the devil
Not in rage, nor violence
In quality

And I know:
What I want
What I have to give
I know pain, I know love
I know 'you' and I'm proficient in 'me'

My real-gentle-raw will not coil you in possibilities
in offerings my nature will be equivalent

In magnitudes of ambition
I have mastered the art of attaining my sights with
Pleasure and fascination
And therell be no room for plausible ventures as my saturnine governed ruler will cut any venture short challenged with pique
And you will be real, or you may find another table

In abundance of opportunities
I sift out the opportunity rich in sustenance

Psuedo Quality

Your icey eyes froze my heart
Your cold voice shut out the light

But this I promise you
I will forget
Passively, gently

You will receive an equal response
Ill drown you in my calms
Pass u a casual friendly glance
While you stare

blinded by pseudo kindness
"I can almost imagine your blindness
As I watch and wait
For the chance
To suddenly- cruelly- make you know
How easy it was to let you go"

Movember

In so many bids of change
I'm faced with this day

And I promised myself
Never to feel that way
And cried because I cried

I would never have done that to u
But you've taught me a lesson

My plans were to make it different
To revitalize these days to forget
But its not the days

There is no such thing as time
Only life
And I've learned the constant:
Change

I've ran so far
And forgot to look back
Coldly turning a blind eye
You didn't exist
Moving forward...or living obliviously?

I tried ambitiously to hate you
And I was winning
An aimless battle I've won
Yet not victorious?

As this day creeps closer
I'm reminded of what was

And there is nothing
the apocalypse didn't hear your demands
Neither did Zues

I'm happy
But enough, I'm whole again
I'm ready to stand firm with the Reeper
I won't run, I don't have to
And this will call my victory

Ill learn to trust
And love ill have to lend
Holding my head high
Brevity be my friend

I find source in my own to forgive
And map solutions instead of forget

Like the dusk
Drowning into the sea
I have battled to swim above the waters
Breaking waves and holding onto light
Which inevitably slips into the dark

I discover more than I anticipate
Movember
You bring me hope

When a new dawn reveals itself
Ascending into the heavens
I'm radiating life and conform to nature

Dancing in the limits
My love is endless and warm

I slip into night and play in the dark
And once again
Ill shine for someone and bring hope
To someone special

And I will not thank you
And I will not apologize
But I will smile
Coz I've lost you but I've gained myself
A prize you didn't see

You hurt me so deep
Undeserving, I gave you everything
My heart on a silver platter
A rarity I gave you
It was yours to keep

But Movember will be detoxed
A feint story about how I move forward

Last of the drops I held onto
Dripping into the ocean
Engaged into a vastness of me

I feel the sunshine gleaming
At last
It happened
I am free

Ripples

I feel the change...

Like wind
Unable to be seen
But felt

Either causing disarray
Or jovially playing in your hair

Do we have this choice?

I feel 'change'
Unaware of its nature
Unaware of its direction

Governed by vibration
Which could combust into flames
I learn to gentle this nature
I'm the monarch of my own

If you're afraid to enter
I am comfortable alone

I have nothing to lose but tears
Everything else will still be in place
My heart is loyal
My eyes are pure
I have that space

In magnitudes of value
I know my worth

Reflections of who I am:
I go deep
Dark
Vast
Intense
And I know this territory

I see every path as a journey
Connections in an interweb
Carefully locking in and expanding

we meet passers-by along the way
I choose never to trample on them as steps, but instead to use the experience as a step towards triumph

Its not about questions nor answers
Sometimes the lesson wasn't meant for us
But we had the right questions and they needed to find the answer

I feel the change
Unaware of its nature
Unaware of its direction

But I'm dancing in the wind
Coz I choose you
Everytime

Débutante

Walking into your eyes
I see...

An inside story
Dark, deep and waiting

A series of abated breaths
Or tributes of glory?

Here's my conviction
Spilled in caffeine
Innocently addictive
Or devilishly calling on into the dark

And I follow...
Because I want in

Unexpected, a guest
Blindly falling about

Following the sounds of ur beating chest
Touring this vastness
A falter in the sound

Have u been throwing ur heart around loosely? Is this why you're not giving it away so easily, And staying in the 'safe' territory?

...Yet we say we're lonely
Eventhough surrounded by beats of life
But when we build walls instead of bridges...

The knocks on the chest are shielded
Misconstrued and unanswered

So this is what I propose:

Let me carry from your ellipses
Reading the words into my mind
Not revealing but healing

Allow me to submit to you

Softly succumb to dependence
Give you my heart


Allow me to contest to your debris
It may put up its fists
I'm going to the end of the sea
And this is only the start

I'm risking it all
To have a moment with you
It'll be worth the fee

Competitive by nature
I view you as gold
My soldier tiers are on
I'm risking it all coz my heart is sold

Close your eyes let me touch your skin
Like osmosis
You will feel the authenticity
And take me in

Once its there it will always be around
Gently taking down those bricks in ur wall
I will build your bridge as they lightly fall down

For a chance to be with you
The risk is worth it all

A shot at loving you is the quality
I'd skip straight to the fall
But even if I'm faced to the depths of eternity
I'd sapiently give it a brawl.

Red Lipped Allurance

Submit yourself to me...
Endear my lust

Let me torch your soul
Revved up
Robust

Allow me to seduce you
Tease you from head to toe
you will encompass my eurythmy
blow by blow...

Breathe me in as i take you there
See every cloud
Heavenly creatures
the devils lair

Surrender yourself
and unleash your chains
that contain the desires
Amplify colour all thats bane

Give yourself to me...

The cage of plateau awaits
unlock the gates
This is your play house
i am your fate

I am known as the lady in red
The devils tool
soon to be tied to your bed

Welcome...

Beautiful Stranger

Like a dream painted by the colours of my mind
Painted by the hands of perfection

One could see it as two
Either the pure canvass to be tainted
Or to be marked visible

This dream surreal and enticing
Producing gullible expectations

But delusion has no player for this play
Nor has perfection been perfected

Spontaneity of the waking world holds much more appeal
And the minds eye was created by a much greater artist

So with no insults
Nor conclusions

My notion remains captivated followed by ellipses...

She will never be me

She may cook you breakfast
You may indulge her with wine
‘The head is not more native to the heart’
…and that’s the bottom line.

She may lay across your bed
On the side I once woke up
She may take all the love I was once fed
An aphrodisiac in a take-away cup

She could doll herself in lace
And make you feed off her linger
but it will be a demoted taste
A tactless dinner

She may be clued on the history
But I don’t wish her harm
Your mother wont love her mystery
Yet she still loves my charm
that’s enough for me

As soon as you realise she is not me
The faster you acknowledge she will never be
I have cut ties with my thoughts of you
like a leaf cleansed by dew
I am free of what she will never be
Realise there is only one of me

Candy coated lies

I'm a big girl
I know my way
I'm human
But if u don't want to stay
Let me hurt
Just go away

Today I'm a girl
Tomorrow ill be a women

if u don't want to be here
Don't pretend
I love with all my heart
It shouldn't be doubted
Just go away
..let me mend

Let me hurt
Let me heal

Don't candy coat it
I'm not disable
Don't play with words
Im fully capable

I'm a big girl
I've learned to deal
Don't underestimate me

I've come this far
my heart can conceal

Trial and error
Ill know next time
give me space
and i'll be fine

Just go away
And let me heal

dancing in the dark

I don't want to dance alone no more
eventhough it was always very good before

I just think its time i find my partner to dance with
I just think i need a special song to adore

I close my eyes and move to the sounds
The rhythm is my companion

Reaching to a peak
This vibration blocks out everything
Like magic
Growing in its dominion

Free to be whomever i wish
Free my spirit of its cage

It embraces my hips
Caresses my waist
Slowly guiding it to sway

It softly whispers in my ears
And speaks to my soul
Understanding the language to my mind

It filters my thoughts
protects my dreams
no illusions, nor games, no betrayal
no fine line

Orgasmic in every wave
Like an explosion of heaven
Like an oblivion
Im taken Far, far Away

Sensually gliding down my arms
A cool touch
Lifting it up

Gyrating; moving; soaring
Music unleashes my inhibitions
It will never let me astray

So I don't want to dance alone no more
Eventhough i liked everybit of it before

Fuel me with your fire
Like an airballoon on its ascend
show me more as we move a little higher
No need to play coy or pretend

Move insync with my eurythmy
Touch my skin like it equates to the rarest diamonds

Breathe me in
Close your eyes

Feel how i feel
become who you are
Their are no hurts
there are no lies

Block out your surroundings
Focus on the sound
Watch me dance for you
Play on your ground

I'll move around your body
Grinding very close
I will touch you inappropriately
A little devil dose

If I ask you to dance with me
I'm not asking for much
I build relations
Im not mida
...I have a better touch

I don't ask for gold
Im not that person
you have choice
decisions, opinions, preferences are free

All I want to do is dance
Will you care to join me?

Over the edge

I pretend to feel the same
But my blood has redirected...

My heart has changed in pace
And my breathing has been affected

My eyes view your best
My body involuntarily reacts to this temptation

My head will not detest
Goosebumps
Desire
A euphoric sensation

Hesitation makes you late
Come closer
Submit to me

Think too much
And cloud your fate
Enjoy my alluring seduction

leave your essence on my straps
Breath me in
Cause sensual destruction

Lead me firmly to distress

Push me gently
Over the edge

A letter from a broken heart

From the moment it filtered my thoughts
to the very moment I spill it onto paper...

From the depths of my arcane heart
To the cavalier stride in my steps...

For every love song that plays
Or every romance that flares

Re-evaluating and rewinding
Introspections
Reflections

All these questions posed to you
I banish
Because I know the answers

You quit on me
And I was only starting

Nothing good ever comes easy
Nor does it whither

I held plans for tomorrow
With no entries of you
perserverence of a mountain goat

no fractures

no frails

no sorrow

And then it came
The unexpected ingredient
like a gail force wind

no planB
No tools
No shield

From the moment you entered my life
There & then it was clear...

Destruction

A natural disaster
from which you have no control

The instant I craved your attention
My plans were breached

Just your smile, was equivalent to my highest high

I found my heart
...the undead has risen


Kind Regards
...Always
xoxo

Route 66

Enroute into the 'tomorrow'
A gleaming adventure of darkness

Floating
No falling

I will not lead these feet to sorrow

portray that picture of beauty
With paint of true emotion

Not that of ambiguous Mona Lisas
But a solid concise depiction

Looking beyond the sunset
Compiling the memoirs of yesterday

Stars guide the direction
Steady without a sway

Replacing Janus's two faces
With Apollos everlasting glare

We follow this compass

Untill the horn blows
For all of us to bare

bright lights can blind

whats this i hear?

Is that what you say of me...
fair enough
its your opinion
judgments are the matter to the owner
all is welcome

its not a guarantee

I enter your prism and make your special en'trance
you capture the scent, my radiance, my fever, my glance

Im proud to be different
weird, wild and free
...but psycho...

not so sure on that one
its no momentum
no accessory

Im crazy with a pinch of salt
but never enough to lose-

i spot whomever i fancy
Its a challenge i get to choose

Preditor vs prey
they are oblivious to the surrounding
a twisted little truth here
my dirrty little founding

(*giggle)

I make you believe that its all you-
But smarty you figured it out

Its merely a compliment, nothing personal
its not an attack
thats not what its all about

It goes to show- a display of your unveiled thinking
Quick to turn the finger
a cowardly "save myself,
Fuck the next person"
Without remorse or blinking

You call me what you like
I cant help if im the desired topic of excitment

Ahoy 'my boy'
i have the real support
the perfect wonderbra
the 'original macoy'

I am what i am
Leave it to be
Spread it around
It doesnt bother me

Your 'A team' can take a bite out of my sweet reserection
It will detect the virus and turn it to poison
Natures a bitch
best you get your protection

You cant always get what you want
Kudos for the perseverence
Tell ur wolves the truth
they dont mind interjection or inteference

They jump at your words and rose to the occation
with a lack of grey matter,
their challenge: a meek display but an amusing stimulation

Their 'smart' rain dance came down on their own
And disgraced their dignity
dishonour is what they have shown

i am apologetic when im wrong
but im a smart-ass when i know im right
i cant really ward off millions
but i can put up a fucking good fight

Lets weigh out the pro and con's
its easy to see
the fortunate individual-
not in material gain
but a circumference of rationality

I tried so many times
and didnt mind looking a fool
i didnt care about the 411
only that you are true to you

it shows who i am
and the potential i posses
but you lined all your logs
and secured all your mess

the dam you built: in it lies mercy waters
Your muddy truths
lambs to the slaughters
At the bottom lies yourself
hidden deep
burried, forgotten, sunken down 6ft

So call me a cat- a bitch a whore
name any choice of words
im not a mantle piece
most certainly no bore

Shove those sidistic shit where the sun dont shine
frown upon these words
turn a blind eye

at leaste youre good for inspiration
thats all there is
and thats not from me
its what you let others perceive

Be'the man', 'the guy', 'the jock'
leave me alone and take your center stage
the lights are on you
enjoy it while its bright
behind those curtains is the shadow of doubt in mental sight

you know it very well

Its the podium of hypocracy and mock
Give it your best

Its all you got.

my fairy wonderland

iday, 24 July 2009 at 05:27
Edit - Delete

At first, I was infatuated…curious to know just who you are.
You made me feel something different.
I dunno, something with a grandeuos inner spark.

All I know is that I was happy, jovial and complete.
The mystery still strong, overwhelmed- a super ‘undefeat’.

Then inevitably, I became aware.
The sharks, focused by the informal light scurrying away with bits of my plight.

The innocence out the door.
I stumbled on the blunt truth.

I felt it like the wrath of a snake- taking my air.
Sucking my life.

Pulling me bare.

Broken, I chose to chill on the floor.
Covering the hurt.
Not taking the pain anymore.

Not aware of the scars.
I lie to myself- but now- now, its free.
I cant lie to myself nor the ones who truly know me.

This tainted image
I do not understand.

The confusion.
The devil from this man.

Wheres the boy inside that tangent meat.
All I hear is a wolf between every silken sheet.

I crave the idea I once had.
The glitter, the noise.
The sound, the boy.

Unsattisfying desire.
Reckless case- undressed.
unretire.

I crave your attention- nothings too bad.
I get the feeling all of this makes me seem very sad.

I didn’t expect this of myself.

Im sure neither did you
but then again,
you ended it coz it was very clear to you.

The hurt, it killed my mind.
Lost in deception.
Poison soul.
Poisoned heart.
Poisoned then contoured, grinded and shredded fine.

My poise began to flare.
Out of heart ache.
Afraid to emerge...
Never.
It won’t dare.

My mystery had a story. A story I did not write.
The lies became my person.
Devilishly waiting to errupt and take flight.

I lost my hope, my mind, my glory.
I recovered but fall everytime I see you.
My heart in a dark corner waiting to bypass.
My soul out of its frame looking through a vulnerable crystal looking glass.

I cant understand.
Me. I don’t do this!

I can’t piece together.
Its all just a miss.

I don’t know why.
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

This is all just madness!

Submerged. I feel? I live? I ache?
...I mourn?

A cure indeed: I see you out with your whores.
Grin*
They'll never be me.

The image captured by my honest eyes,
feels like an illusion- eventhough, the facts are there to find.

I feel the guilt of entering all this nonsense
Why did you mess with my mind?

Was it all just nothing?
Or was there a pint?
I feel stupid and damaged feeling as if i was just the stint.

What can I do to make this feel better?
I was a pawn in all of your play.
A ‘get away free’ card.
Another one.
Just a ‘heyday’.

How do I surpass all of this?
How do I make you see just the gist.
How can I make this all go away?
Dissappear and save the world, live life oblivious, cut you out, pass time, live day-to-day.
Seaze to exist?

Some one save me.
Or is it essential, I save myself?
Why did you choose me?

I am officially hopeless.
Not in the sense of the Hilton heiress...
oh dear no!
conflicted with the guilt of a murdering horrendous.

I feel the urge to hear your voice.
My favourite sound...
Your comfort- why isn’t it my choice!

You toss me to the dirt.
Blood pouring. Emotionally scared.
Terribly hurt.

Whats going on with me!!!!!

Agh nee!!!

better yet, whats going on with you?!
I am ME!
you are you

I am the one whom people adore.
The same girl, mothers look forward for.
I am the seductress, the saint, the pure.

The wonderwomen who fights.
The tiger in heels.
The kitty with the claws.

Make no mistake, I am battered and bruised.
But give me time.
I am never defused.

I, like anyone else, have an ego, brusque and raw
The desire to fight, lash, whip...but ultimately to be adored

I am the smartie you allowed to flaw.
The one who got away.
The ‘what if’ knocking at your minds door.

I believe its coz you are afraid.
You coward. You made me go away.
And?

Where will that get you?

Im a humanitarian, i still care...
most probably always will
behind closed doors

I am human. A women. A nurturer.

But dont be mislead.
I am not your friend.

I will forgive
but how could i forget...?

My all round characteristics showed much too much potential.
It filtered your life and drew your affection.

You gave me too much and thus it scared you.
With all my sassiness and splendor
I would nNEVER have rejected you

A million men aimed at you
I would have taken them down.
Like falling leaves they would fall and hit the ground.

I feel sorry for those who stand up against me.
I warn you
I am no, pretty little small league.
I am the mean
your worse enemy.

I am strong, no age can whither.
I am crazy but a functional quiver.

Best you keep lock down and stay out of my way.
I will hunt you down- and you will never forget that day.

So please, don’t fuck with my emotion
And give it a rest
I have reached consumtion capacity
it is for the best

Leave me to squander.
Let it rest in peace.
Let my unobservable scars heal
while they are inevident
protected
from all to mock and see.

Lets build a bridge with a fireless base.
No sexual cavities. No tension. No haste.
Can you do that?

Give me the deserved intospection.
Allow me the space for an intervention.

Theres no point giving me no-face.
I will capture your eye, in most ways, in every place.

hit me that tightly secured forbidden word.
Id much rather move forward wounded
than tortured by an unseen pierced silver sword.

I am ready to let go, and fully this time, I promise.
Theres no need to cry or throw a tantrum.

Im over it.
our chance is up.
Watch this space.

Im on the prowl
In no fashoined haste

Look at the stars, my heart is as bright.
With mercy at my feet and honour in my fight.

I will surely never forget you.
Nor will I hold on.
For now I see, the likeness is gone.

I carry the story, eventhough you wanna forget.
I am able to move on without hesitant.
Absolute no regret.

But I am finished now.

This is my ultimate choice.

So you can trod me down and wind me up.
It has no meaning.
Youre just a voice.

I need not take your shit.
Give it to someone who gives a damb-

heres the poem of the little misfit in her fairy wonderland.

What...

if i liked you...

If I were to like you

I'd like you because
you're driven and smart

I'd like u bcoz ur tall, tanned and handsome
I'd like u Coz ur refreshing and real...
a personality that glows in the dark

Id love Ur sex appeal
Ur naughty stare
creative ideas
U stark naked
bare...

(Oohlala)
But I don't like u.


but if I did...

ud make a rad companion
5star rating
My sexy rebellion

a partner in crime
An excellent lover.
I'd want u as my bonded prisoner
My equivalent.
The vodka to my lime.

Pitty I don't like u

We'd make a good team
A sexy demeanor
Ur a thrill and I'm the dream

(Hahaha)

A sexy creature
I'd teach u the rules
A lion I'd want to tame
Boudoir dules

I bid u best wishes and praise ur fate

(Cough*)

The girl who captures ur heart,
How lucky she must be

She must have in's with the man upstairs
Possibly at the table with golden chairs
where as I...
I have deals of undergrounds
I play with fire
My mischief knows no bounds

Ill be her nightmares

(*evil grin)

but I hope she does u well
Loves and gives u hell
(The latter for my amusement)

Whipped cream just won't do it
It has to be entertainment
Leather belts and silky bonds
teach her 101

Sweat.heat.rupture.
if its not rough
Where is the fun.

If I were to like u tho...

Ud be my Brad Pitt
My one night in Paris
infamous
My pounding chests twit

If I were to like u,
How lucky ud be

I'd engulf u with passion, pleasure
and earnest loyalty.

You'd be the luckiest male around

if I were to like u...
That's just the start
Ull always be happy

A success right there
Ur heart pinned with my dart

*But I don't like you...

U'll never be there

Id give you special attention
heat u with care

I'm strong and fierce
Yet, gentle and sweet

I'm able to melt
Show me ur shadows
and I'll offer u some'n that uve never felt

Make me like u...
A priceless pursuit

What's there to lose...?

Sea of mortality

Never a matter of superstition
Nor a matter of dillusion

As this salt grains hit the ground
May it cleanse my soul from your turmoil

Wash away
Like the tides of the current

Sync my rhythm to the moon
Never to be swayed by you
But to be guided by the wind

Euthanasia
In every depth lies new life

My memories swimming about in my vastness
Each unique and meaningful

resist to taunt these creatures
They may not be as they seem

As a tourist through my territory
I wish to be respected

As a sanctuary
I ask to be admired and protected

By nature
I could please or wholly disrupt
Do not question as my devastation eludes creativity

But I wish not to harm
Nor to hurt

As I am
Accept me
Like that of the deep blue sea

xxx